Rai and her family were among the lucky few who experienced no loss of life or property damage. Still, leaving her husband and young son in a city rocked by aftershocks to attend SPI was difficult. The quakes have also complicated an already explosive Nepalese political situation by causing the delay of peace talks that the organization she works for, Nepal Transition to Peace Institute (NTTP), is facilitating.

But despite the sacrifices, Rai, who has worked at NTTP for three years, came ready to learn. A recipient of the , she took classes at SPI to prepare for a new role as program officer when she returns 鈥� a role that she hopes will provide opportunities to strengthen her homeland and her family.

鈥淚 want to be able to go home and give back to my family for their sacrifice of sending me here,鈥� she said.

Conflict fueled by equal rights movement

When Rai was born in 1981, Nepal was still a monarchy. Nine years later, the popular King Birendra, only the 11th king in Nepalese history, agreed to the limited powers of a constitutional monarch. In 1996, the Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist) started violently vying for political control – the beginning of a deadly decade-long civil war between the communists and the ruling monarchy.

鈥淭he Maoist fight started in search of equal rights for everyone,鈥� Rai says. The one positive to ongoing political instability was that 鈥減eople are now very aware of traditional caste distinctions and want equal access to rights such as clean drinking water, education and social mobility.鈥�

The key now, she says, is helping Nepal to stabilize by developing and passing a constitution. That鈥檚 part of what the NTTP Institute is helping to do though the facilitation of non-partisan dialogue between the major Nepalese political parties to reach consensus on political and social issues, she says.

Despite their efforts, however, the Nepalese government has already missed a self-imposed January 2015 deadline to produce the document. Three months after the missed deadline, massive earthquakes rocked the already stressed country.

Returning to war ‘among, between and around us’

Rai turned 15 around the time Maoists were beginning to challenge the ruling party in Nepal. In 1996, she moved to India alone to finish secondary school and an undergraduate degree in the social sciences. (She later received a master鈥檚 degree in sociology from a Nepalese university).

She came back in 2001 to a country deep in the midst of civil war. In the midst of this conflict, King Birendra and most of the royal family were killed during the 2001 palace massacre by the crown prince (the sole surviving son, Gyanendra Shah, was deeply unpopular as a king and the monarchy was dissolved as a concession to Maoist rebels in 2008).

The war left an estimated 16,000 people dead and crippled the already impoverished Nepali economy.

鈥淭he fight was among, between and around us,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t had a big impact on the people.鈥� She says the biggest impact was shattering the traditional caste system. 鈥淓ven women began to advocate for their rights. It was amazing the transformation that could emerge once people realized they had a voice.鈥�

In India, and during her first few years back in Nepal, she worked as a behavioral counselor for youth, experiences that taught her 鈥渉ow important it is to restore justice and mediate between the victims and the offenders for transforming conflict to peace.鈥�

Dialogues gain traction

Two years after Rai returned, the Nepalese government requested assistance from the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) to between the various Nepalese political parties and the Communist Party of Nepal. In 2005, the Nepal Transition to Peace Forum was launched.

鈥淭he effectiveness of the forum was huge,鈥� she says, explaining that when NTTP first started the politicians from different political parties wouldn鈥檛 even look at each other. 鈥淣ow they are willingly coming to the table and agreeing to disagree or working out their conflict.鈥�

Rai joined NTTP Forum in 2011 as a program associate, working in logistics and program design.

Policy discussions focus on 鈥�1.5 Track Dialogue鈥� which emphasizes an intermediary strategy: the number 1.5 symbolizes the often-powerful politicians who are subordinate to a higher-level politician (level 1), but still have direct contact with activists (level 2).

In July of 2014, USAID began a six-month phase-out leading up to the drafting of a new constitution. NTTP Institute is now an independent Nepali-run institute.

SPI training helps to prepare Rai for new role

During her first three years at NTTP, Rai says she has learned that conflict, when managed well, can be powerfully transformative.

鈥淐onflict gives people a way to express their opinions,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 the other things, war, killing of innocents, hunger, that come along with many conflicts that are bad. But what I鈥檝e learned is that peace isn鈥檛 about the lack of differences, it鈥檚 about respecting the differences that exist.鈥�

After three years in an administrative position, Rai looks forward to playing a more active role that makes a tangible impact.

With the support of her mentor, deputy executive director Sajana Maharjan, she moves into a new role as program officer upon her return to Nepal. (, the current academic home of Mennonite peacebuilder John Paul Lederach, co-founding director of the ).

Rai says her SPI coursework will prepare her for the new role.

鈥淥ur vision is to have a peaceful and just place for people to live in. We strive to move towards achieving a place where everyone has equal rights and a dignified life,鈥� she says. 鈥淢y hope is that my work in some small way makes a difference in achieving this goal.鈥�

The 31-year-old Zimbabwean, who was awarded a to attend 草莓社区鈥檚 , is the program officer for (YETT). YETT partners with over 33 youth civil society organizations, each with a different focus such as women鈥檚 health, environmental protection and education. YETT builds the capacity of youth leaders from these organizations to advocate peacefully for their rights.

A history of violence, instability

Nonviolent advocacy is a tough goal in a country that has been shaped by long-term economic instability and a culture of violence as exemplified by a waged against the Ndebele people of western Zimbabwe in the 1980s. Current president Robert Mugabe was the prime minister during this period.

Election cycles from 1980 to 2013 also witnessed varying levels of election-related violence in which young people were involved as both the perpetrators and victims of this violence. Use of force in dealing with those holding 鈥渄ivergent views鈥� and the utilization of young people to perpetrate that violence was recorded in a e issued by the Zimbabwe Human Rights NGO Forum.

In 2001, Mugabe established the Youth National Training Service as 鈥渢he vehicle for youth empowerment, social transformation and a catalyst for the transformation of national values,鈥� according to a government website. In reality, the camps, run by liberation fighters loyal to Mugabe, produced 鈥渟tate-sponsored youth gangs,鈥� according to a . The youth militia would to support the ruling party right before an election. The camps were supposedly suspended in 2007, according to an聽, but news services reported as late as 2011 that the camps never fully disbanded and .

The ongoing economic and political instability since the early 1980s also resulted in mass emigration. The emigration weakened social structures, including most importantly the social network provided by extended families, traditionally the providers of support and conflict mediation.

鈥淰iolence starts with conflict within families, then spreads to conflict with other tribes and communities and then manifests at the national level,鈥� Machiwana says. For example, a soccer match between the Highlanders and the Dynamos can end up being tribalised as a conflict between the Ndebele and Shona peoples.

鈥淗ence, when you see young people being violent within the home, in the community and at the national level, one should not just聽see the violence in itself,鈥� Machiwana said 鈥淚t is in essence an expression of unmet needs of the youth which have been allowed to build up and have reached boiling point. 鈥�

Helping youth talk together

Machiwana鈥檚 first job, a volunteer position with Youth Dialogue Zimbabwe, was to facilitate conversations between youths with different political ideologies. Within these youth groups were some who had been victims of political violence and their victimizers. The youth, who often came from poorly educated, rural families, had few other prospects in the crippled Zimbabwean economy and returned home after their time in the National Youth Service camps to live side-by-side with those they had victimized.

鈥淲e didn鈥檛 even use the word peace in the beginning,鈥� Machiwana said. Rather he organized sporting events and established youth-led market gardening initiatives, often furthering his strategic goals by relying on neutral church leaders who were also using religion and faith as a tool for peacebuilding within their communities.

鈥淶imbabweans love sports, particularly soccer,鈥� he said. 鈥淪o soccer matches were a good place to draw people together to get them used to each other again. As they got more comfortable being around one another, it was easier for them to coexist and open up to more direct dialogue.鈥�

In 2013, Machiwana joined YETT. In his role as program officer, Machiwana says he tries 鈥渢o promote the culture of conflict transformation鈥� through facilitating Trainer of Trainer (TOT) trainings. Participants learn聽to define and analyze conflict, as well as strategies for dealing with it and how to advocate nonviolently. He then helps participants create plans for the implementation of nonviolent advocacy within their communities. Throughout the year, he visits participants to see how well the plan is working, provide feedback, and report back to YETT.

鈥淚t is much more effective to train trainers who then return to their own tribe or community where they speak the language, know the people and are familiar with the culture, than for me to come in and try to do the same thing,鈥� said Machiwana. (Zimbabwe has 16 official languages and two major ethnic groups). 鈥淲e have empowered them with knowledge and skills to go back to their own communities and teach others.鈥�

Pushing politicians to pay attention to youth issues

In a way, YETT is attempting to restructure the social gap left by broken families. But Machiwana also wants to help focus efforts on change at a higher level. He hopes that the youth will also use their new skills to hold policymakers accountable at both the local level and national level to enforce Zimbabwe鈥檚 two-year-old constitution.

When Machiwana isn鈥檛 conducting trainings, he tries to set up meetings between policy makers and youth representatives. 鈥淲e want these members of policymakers in their various capacities to treat youth issues with the urgency and seriousness they deserve,鈥� he said. 鈥淎 lot of times when we elect someone to parliament, they think they are too senior to come back and actually hear what the young people want, but how can you represent us if you don鈥檛 know what is important to us?鈥�

Machiwana said young people, whom his organization defines as ages 16-35, want jobs, education and access to services and resources such as clean drinking water. By empowering young people to speak out and hold policymakers accountable nonviolently, he hopes a new strong coalition will help to break the culture of violence and create true change.

Hakizimana came to feel that in order for healing to occur, reconciliation between his Tutsi group and the Hutus 鈥� both being responsible for widespread killings at different points 鈥� must be pursued. He wanted to deepen his understanding of justice and peace and to improve his skills for transforming conflict.

Hakizimana is the 2013 recipient of the Winston Fellowship 鈥� the most generous scholarship that the is able to offer. He found SPI at 草莓社区 through an Internet search of peacebuilding programs, but was encouraged by a friend who knew EMU to apply.

I was interested in SPI 鈥渂ecause of where I come from,鈥� he says, referring to his home country, whose 1994 genocide formed the basis of the 2004 blockbuster movie Hotel Rwanda. 鈥淭he second reason is that I needed to come and exchange with those who have lived the same tragedies.鈥�

Life as a homeless orphan

Hakizimana 鈥� who will be entering his last year of law school in the fall 鈥� had, with a couple of his friends, been making some effort to help the community heal through a program they called 鈥渉ealing through the arts and drama,鈥� but they soon realized that they were not equipped to deal with the depth of people鈥檚 pain and anger. When the friends all left for school, the program ceased.

Hakizimana explained that ultimately the group didn鈥檛 have enough skills to know what they were doing. Now, at SPI, he is gaining an understanding of what people went through and how they react, not to mention why he reacted to the conflict the way that he did (through burying his feelings).

After Hakizimana鈥檚 family was murdered, he and a friend fled to the swamps where they hid. Soon, however, someone found them and attacked, hitting him on the head. Hakizimana woke up some time later in a hospital bed with his head in bandages.

Eventually, he was adopted by a family who viewed him as little better than a slave and forced him 鈥� from the ages of 8 to 10 鈥� to do hard labor for them. When he couldn鈥檛 take it any more, Hakizimana left and went to a neighboring family looking for work. There the husband was kind to him and treated him like a son, but the older of the two wives was an 鈥渆vil sort,鈥� recalls Hakizimana, mistreating him while the husband was away.

Discovering grandmother and sister

He endured conditions with this family for about 18 months until one day the husband came home and told him that there was reason to believe that one of his grandmothers and one sister may be alive.

On Feb. 12, 1998, this kind man took Hakizimana to meet his sister and his grandmother. They barely recognized each other, but felt overjoyed at being reunited. At the time, they were in a very desperate and vulnerable situation and the husband offered to keep Hakizimana until they were able to get on their feet. So Hakizimana found himself back with the good husband and the hurtful wife. A week later, though, Hakizimana left to live with his sister and grandmother, preferring their love despite their poverty.

Beginning school at age 14

At the age of 14 Hakizimana started school for the very first time. 鈥淗igh school was a very lonely time,鈥� he said. 鈥淚t was very painful to see visiting days with parents bringing things for their children.鈥�

The children without visitors 鈥� most of whom had lost family members through the genocide 鈥撀爁ormed their own 鈥渇amilies鈥� in school by separating themselves into groups of ten or so with a nominated 鈥渇ather鈥� and 鈥渕other,鈥� usually the oldest male and female in the respective groups. 鈥淭hat is how we tried to cover ourselves as family,鈥� he said. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not living life if there is not someone to praise you.鈥� They became so close that during the holidays most of the children decided to stay at school, partly because they had nowhere to go that felt like home and partly because they had found family with one another.

Facing unresolved fear and anger

Hakizimana explained that after the Rwandan genocide the main question that people asked themselves was, 鈥淲ill I be able to survive after I have survived this?鈥� It is still a very tense and politically unstable region where victims and perpetrators must learn to coexist amidst pain, fear and anger.

His own turning point came in 2005 when the Rwandan government began a mass release of tens of thousands of prisoners, most of whom had confessed involvement in the 1994 genocide. Among them was a man who confessed to having killed Hakizimana鈥檚 uncle.

This man knocked on the door as Hakizimana, his grandmother, and his sister 聽were eating lunch and asked to come in. Upon hearing his confession, Hakizimana鈥檚 grandmother and sister ran from the room because they did not want to hear any more. Hakizimana said that as an African man he had to sit down with him and hear the man鈥檚 apology. Although Hakizimana was upset and shaken, he told the man to go and come again in one week.

鈥淭here are some truths that are very regrettable,鈥� Hakizimana says today. 鈥淭here are some truths that are hard to handle.鈥� When the man came back, Hakizimana extended his forgiveness, but he said it was many years before he actually believed his own words. For him, forgiveness was a choice. He decided he would forgive the man and over time, he actually began to be able to do it.

“Why did you do it?”

A year after this encounter, Hakizimana was finally able to sit down with the man and have a beer and to make peace with his crime. It was at this point that he was able to ask him, 鈥淲hy did you do it?鈥� and listen as the man told him his own story.

Prejudices between the Hutus and the Tutsis are deeply held and from a very young age the man 鈥� who was also raised by his grandmother 鈥� had been told that his family had been killed by Tutsis, which he later learned was not true. However by the time the 1994 genocide occurred, the man had developed so much hatred for the Tutsis that it was nothing to him to simply join in with the massacre. Now, however, the man must live with both the guilt of what he did and the shame that his wife and family feel for his participation.

At first Hakizimana,鈥檚 family called him naive for his efforts to forgive both the man and other perpetrators. In 2007, though, Hakizimana had the opportunity to attend a World Vision training. He decided to take his sister with him to the training and hoped the experience might spark a spirit of forgiveness in her. There they embraced several sayings to help them move past the atrocities committed against them such as, 鈥渨hen you dwell on the past, you lose the future鈥� and 鈥渨hen you鈥檙e going to build a new order, you have to destroy the old, because you cannot develop both.鈥�

Hakizimana and his younger sister ended up moving away from the community in which their grandmother still lives in order to get away from some of the lingering pain and bad memories. From that point on, he says his sister began changing for the better. She finished high school in 2010 and is now a university student who works as a bank manager.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling

鈥淔orgiveness is personal,鈥� Hakizimana mused. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not a feeling. You can鈥檛 close your eyes and wait until you feel like forgiving. Forgiveness is not logical. It鈥檚 not even knowing the truth. You may even be distracted by the truth. It is a decision. You sit there and say, 鈥業 solemnly swear that I will forgive鈥� and then you work at it until it comes slowly, slowly.鈥�

After SPI, Hakizimana plans to return to Rwanda to finish his last year of school. (Consider the educational gap he has closed between entering school for the first time at age 14 in order to be a multilingual university student today at age 27.) Hakizimana also will complete a four-week internship with the Strongest Oak Foundation in Rwanda, the organization that sponsored his SPI application. This internship is required by his Winston Fellowship, which covered all expenses associated with traveling to EMU and attending three SPI sessions. He hopes to one day resume his work of healing and reconciliation through drama and arts and believes that the skills learned the past three weeks at SPI will help him to do this with more understanding and effectiveness.

For a related story from the neighboring country of Burundi, read about , who is earning a from .