At the 2014 annual meeting of Coming to the Table, two participants read emotionally charged poems that they exchanged after learning they were descended from the same plantation in Missouri. During one discussion, a participant of European origins shared her suspicions that the systematic abuse in her family was a legacy of the psychological impact of owning slaves.

More than 150 years after the end of slavery, the historical trauma of a system that turned people into property remains throughout the nation. It’s a trauma that members of Coming to the Table are trying to address through a four-step process:

(1) uncovering and acknowledging history,
(2) making deep connections across racial lines,
(3) working toward healing together, and
(4) taking action to make systemic and institutional change to end racial inequality and injustice.

Conference was at capacity

Coming to the Table held its 2014 national gathering May 23-25 at ˛ÝÝ®ÉçÇř, a site chosen in recognition of the organization’s birth at EMU in 2006. EMU professor and expert joined this year’s meeting for a keynote talk – he was also present at the 2006 gathering. The 2014 gathering occurred on a weekend break in EMU’s annual . Some participants extended their time at EMU to take institute courses.

Initially Coming to the Table focused mainly on exploring the stories and experiences of people linked by their ancestors’ enslaved-slaveholding relationship. But the group’s focus has expanded far beyond this over the last eight years.

With 80 enrollees, the 2014 conference was at capacity, said organizers. During the three days participants focused on each of the four steps in the change process.

Taking four steps

As an opening activity, participants created a map that highlighted linkages, including shared ancestry. They deepened their connections during workshops and activities, which included light-hearted events like shared meals and a talent show. As a step toward healing, people of both races dialogued about their encounters with privilege and discrimination. For the taking action step, participants discussed ongoing economic and social discrimination in areas like the criminal justice system, and they wrestled with how to tackle these problems.

Two members of Coming to the Table – Sharon Morgan, who is black, and Tom DeWolf, white – met at one of its early gatherings and eventually co-authored . The book describes their painful yet ultimately hopeful journey over a three-year period, covering thousands of miles through 27 states and beyond the U.S. border.

“We embarked on this journey because we believe Americans must overcome the racial barriers that divide us, the barriers that drive us to strike out at one another out of ignorance and fear,” they explained in their book. “To do nothing is unacceptable to us. The legacy of slavery remains a horrendous and unhealed wound, a disease that must be diagnosed, treated and cured.”

Interviewed at the 2014 conference, Morgan, a genealogist, said Coming to the Table has “gone beyond [genetic] linkages because it is difficult for many descendants of enslaved people to find reliable genealogies.”

Coming to the Table was launched with a four-day gathering in January 2006 at EMU. The idea for the gathering came from , EMU’s supervisor of grounds, and Susan Hutchison, both white descendants of significant American enslaving families.

Words from Martin Luther King Jr.

, a white woman who raises funds for EMU’s , followed in Hairston’s footsteps and became an early member of Coming to the Table after discovering connections with the descendants of slaves on a farm owned by her ancestors. She got in touch with Betty Kilby Baldwin, an African-American woman who wrote Wit, Will & Walls (Cultural Innovations Inc., 2002). They now call each other cousins.

As seed money, Coming to the Table received grants from and the and initially was formally a program of EMU. Since then, the group has moved toward more autonomy while maintaining an EMU affiliation. It has attracted growing interest, with a mailing list of 985 persons and a with over 1,100 members.

The name “Coming to the Table” is inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr.’s historic March on Washington speech, in which he prayed that one day “…the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners… will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.”

The program, co-sponsored by the Hyattsville congregation and the Center for Justice and Peacebuilding (CJP) at ˛ÝÝ®ÉçÇř, will bring together Phoebe Kilby, a descendant of slaveholders, and Racquelia Kilby, a descendant of the slaves Phoebe’s family held, to discuss their newfound relationship and what they have learned from it.

Phoebe and Racquelia will speak and interact on the theme, “A Common Grace” as part of the CJP “” program. Participants will be able to join them at the table of brotherhood and sisterhood envisioned by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in his “I Have a Dream” speech. Together they will explore avenues for racial reconciliation within families, communities and across the nation.

Phoebe Kilby is associate director of development for the CJP program at EMU and frequent participant in “Coming to the Table” events.

Racquelia (“Rocky”) Kilby is a media specialist at the Bureau of National Affairs, Inc., and has organized racial reconciliation activities in the Washington, DC, area.

The program is open to the public free of charge.

Persons are encouraged to RSVP to Marci Myers at 800-368-3383 or email myersmk@emu.edu.
For more information, contact Phoebe Kilby at 800-368-3383 or email phoebe.Kilby@emu.edu.

Betty (left) and Phoebe Kilby, descendants of slaves and slave owners, connected in 2007 and are part of , an EMU/CJP program devoted to healing the wounds of slavery and its aftermath.

The following is an excerpt of .

Betty Kilby was gripped with apprehension. Descendants of the white family that enslaved her kin were coming to dinner.

She scrolled through a mental Rolodex of relatives who might flip out. Her brothers had already asked her: Why would you want to meet the family of those who held our loved ones in bondage?

"When they ask that question," she says, "you kind of scratch your head. It makes sense. Why would you want to do that?"

Learn more

• EMU core values
• Center for Justice and Peacebuilding

]]> /now/news/2007/hope-for-peace-day-shares-vision/ Fri, 25 May 2007 04:00:00 +0000 http://www.emu.edu/blog/news/?p=1437 May 19 at EMU was set aside for hope.

Nearly 200 people celebrated “Hope for Peace Day,” which brought 125 to campus to join learners in Saturday workshops, forums, storytelling, youth activities, music, dance and fellowship — organized by the .

Katherine Morgan, Staunton, Va., adds a symbol to the ‘welcoming table’ at the opening ceremony of ‘Hope for Peace Day.’
Photo by Jim Bishop

An opening ceremony paired flowers with qualities symbolized, such as black-eyed Susans signifying justice; dahlias, eloquence.

Citing grass-roots peacebuilding successes, CJP faculty member Lisa Schirch said,”We keep getting asked, when can we go to higher levels?”

Security and Foreign Policy

The “3D Security Initiative” attempts that, Dr. Schirch said in a workshop titled “Influencing US Foreign Policy”

“Hope for Peace Day,” a day-long event aimed at providing firsthand exposure to the multi-pronged (CJP) program – especially its – will be held Saturday, May 19 on the EMU campus.

“The Summer Peacebuilding Institute is such an enriching experience for the international practitioners who come here that we want to share that experience with others,” said Phoebe Kilby, associate director of development at EMU with a focus on CJP support. “Participants in Hope for Peace Day will meet SPI students who come from more than 50 countries, ask them about issues in their home countries and discuss ways to prevent and transform conflict and achieve social justice without violence.”

Following an opening ceremony at 9:30 a.m., concurrent workshops will be offered on a variety of topics that relate to the overall thrust of CJP – from “forgiveness and reconciliation across religious divides” and “understanding conflict dynamics in congregations” to “Aikido – a martial art of peace” to “interactive peacebuilding for kids.”

Additional workshops led by CJP/SPI faculty will run in the afternoon.

Other activities include an evening dinner meeting, a concert of peace and justice music with Tony Brown, artist-in-residence at Hesston (Kan.) College and an international dance.

Most activities will be held in the seminary building at EMU. Continuing education unit credits are available on request. Activities will be provided for children age 5 and older.

CJP, a graduate program at EMU now in its 12th year, was founded to further the personal and professional development of individuals as peacebuilders and to strengthen the peacebuilding capacities of the institutions they serve.

Today, CJP encompasses the degree, the and the Summer Peacebuilding Institute. The Practice Institute includes the program and Come to the Table, a project that works at racial understanding through examining the historical roots of slavery and possibilities for reconciliation.

Some 2,6000 persons from around the world have taken part in CJP educational and training programs since its inception.

For more information on “Hope for Peace Day,” contact Phoebe Kilby at 540-432-4581 or visit .