“I think it might have been on Youtube that I first saw `On the Good Ship Lollipop,’ ” Showalter admitted from the comfort of her Harrisonburg home last week, letting out an infectious chuckle.

With an easy smile and a certain strength in eloquence, Showalter is a woman who seems comfortable in her own skin.

Her mother wanted a Shirley Temple doll since she was very young and had always hoped for a sister, so when she became pregnant with Showalter, it only seemed natural to call her “Shirley.”

“I became both the doll she never had and the sister she always wanted,” Showalter said.

Now 65, Showalter grew up in a “plain” Mennonite community in Lancaster, Pa. – an upbringing that restricted her from what she calls the “glittery things of the world.”

Her first book, which was released Sept. 19, explains the first portion of the headpiece-wearing Mennonite girl’s journey from the family farm to becoming a college president and foundation executive.

Although Showalter has made strides over the years, the rosy-cheeked portrait of her younger self on the cover of “,” looks very familiar.

But that’s the point: Showalter’s message is not to run from “blush” – which she describes as the questioning naivety she developed in her uncomfortable position between the church and the world – but to embrace it.

“When we learn to embrace our blush and let go of our ego and not fight those things … but rather relax into them, then we can learn and grow and come home to ourselves,” she said.

The past as a child in Lancaster

If there’s a spectrum of religious stringency, Showalter grew up living somewhere along the middle of it.

She didn’t have to wear ankle-length dresses over black stockings, but her skirts couldn’t be too short, and jeans were absolutely out of the question.

Her hair had to be long enough to pin into a neat bun on the back of her head and then covered, although that gauzy headpiece wasn’t as conservative – read: large – as some of the ones spotted in local areas, such as Dayton, today.

“Until I went to bed that night, I [would] wear that all day long,” she explained.

She could listen to the radio at home, but she was forbidden from watching television. Dancing also fell into the forbidden category, as well as movies, although she did go with her parents to see “The Sound of Music” when she was 16.

“I happened to have been born at the edge of a great transformation that was taking place in the church, and these requirements … all have changed,” she added. “I wore a covering to public high school and my sister – who’s seven years younger – did not.”

Showalter was the first in her family in another regard. When she decided to attend then-Eastern Mennonite College, she was the first person to pursue higher education on both sides of her family, which have been in America for 10 generations.

Some of the reasoning behind that lies in the nature of the Mennonite culture in which she was raised, the near certainty that boys would become farmers and that girls would head straight for marriage, Showalter explained.”But there was also question marks and suspicion,” she said. “Would college alienate a young person from the church, from their family?”

Despite some skepticism, her parents didn’t stand in her way and quietly encouraged her in the form of financial aid and transport to and from Harrisonburg.

That’s where the book ends, but Showalter’s real story was only just beginning.

“I’ve left the book at a point where it could be picked up again, but I haven’t made any decisions yet about the next stage,” she said.

The past in the larger world

A sequel to “Blush” would likely include the story of Showalter’s journey to in Goshen, Ind., where she became the first female president of the institution.

The story goes like this: After majoring in at what is now ²ÝÝ®ÉçÇø, Showalter taught at from 1970-72.

She then moved to pursue her master’s degree at the University of Texas at Austin, along with her husband, , whom she met at her alma mater.

After emerging from Austin in 1980 with a PhD in American Civilization, Showalter taught English at Goshen College for several years. In 1996, she was named the 14th president of the college. Eight years later, she moved to Kalamazoo, Mich., to join the Fetzer Institute as the vice president of programs.

Showalter, who still considers herself a Mennonite, is now a full-time writer and blogger who also teaches an honors course about writing memoirs – a process she’s now intimately familiar with – at none other than EMU.

The future

On Sept. 19, Showalter started a three-week-long book tour at in Lititz, Pa.

At 7 p.m., Sept. 25, at EMU’s Martin Chapel, she will perform with local actor . The event will be a book launch for Showalter and a book re-launch for Swartz, whose memoir, “,” has gained a new cover.

The following afternoon, at 3:30 p.m., Sept. 26, Showalter will perform a short reading of “Blush” in an event sponsored by . It will be held at the university’s Campus Center.

Showalter will then head to Archbold, Ohio, then to Goshen and Kalamazoo for book signings.

“It’s actually like having eight weddings in five states over three weeks,” she joked.

If nothing else, she wants her readers to take home this message: “I learned that being naive was a great gift,” she said. “For a long time, I kind of fought it. … I feared my naivete, but I learned that it was actually a great gift. It meant that I was always starting over. I was always in beginner’s mind, and [that’s] a wonderful place to be.

“It’s a great learning place, and so what I thought was an obstacle sometimes growing up actually turned out to be a great gift.”

Article courtesy Daily News Record, Sept. 21, 2013, with minor edits by EMU’s editors.

Since then, Swartz has avoided directly addressing the death of his friend in his productions, though he has addressed some of his emotions. His newest production, though, “Laughter is Sacred Space,” tackles the issue head-on.

“What we’re hoping that this show will do is open up discussions about mental illness and suicide,” he said.

The topic of depression and suicide – the “unforgivable sin” – isn’t often discussed in the church, says Swartz, a devout Mennonite who initially studied to become a pastor. Ted graduated from in 1992.

But the production is also a sort of “gift” for audience members who felt they got to know Eshleman during his two decades of acting, Swartz said.

“What you’re doing is, you’re revealing yourself from the stage to people and, if you do it well, they feel like they know you,” he said.

Show Complements Book

The show, set for 7:30 p.m. Sept. 14 and 15 at , comprises three parts.

The first covers “what it means to grow up Mennonite,” acting and how the two converged in Swartz’s own life.

The second part examines how he and Eshleman built their company using a humorous, but respectful, approach to the “Biblical story.” In the third part, Swartz delves into the response to his friend’s death, the “anger, grief and guilt.”

The production is a rewrite of an earlier show Swartz had written in 2008. “Laughter is Sacred Space” will debut the same weekend as his book, “Laughter is Sacred Space: The Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor,” is set to be released.

The book, to be published by , the book publishing arm of , will largely complement the show, which Swartz said he hopes to tour for several years.

“The show absolutely stands on its own, but I think, as a companion to the book, it’s really going to make the book fun to read,” Director Ingrid De Sanctis said. “Once you see the show and you read the book, you’re going to go, `Oh, I remember that moment.’ Moments in the book will really come right off the page because you heard Ted’s voice and you saw him perform it.”

While the one-man show covers some pretty sensitive material, it is Swartz’s openness about the topic that makes it such a “moving” production, she said.

“I think anybody’s honest journey is compelling. And what Ted does in this show is he’s really honest about who he is,” said De Sanctis. “And he’s … really, really funny. But I think this is all about … his journey. And he kind of pulls you in …”

Courtesy Daily News Record, August 30, 2012